By Emily Rietema
Often we think of service as something to “add on” a few times a year—dropping off canned goods at Thanksgiving, or volunteering at Christmas. While those acts matter, they don’t necessarily shape our children into people who see service as part of everyday discipleship. A culture of service goes deeper. It means serving together becomes part of your family’s identity, woven into rhythms and rituals of life and relationships.
When we serve as a family, we are joining in God’s kingdom work—the ongoing story of love, reconciliation, and renewal that Jesus invites us into. Service isn’t only about helping others; it’s about participating in the love of God that is already present and at work in the world.
An important part of family service is remembering that it’s not one-directional. Too often, service is framed as us giving to those who lack. But the kingdom of God reveals something different: all people are made in God’s image, with gifts to share. Instead of focusing on what’s missing, we ask: What strengths, gifts, and resources are already present here? This mirrors the truth that God’s Spirit is already alive in every neighborhood. For example, instead of saying, “We’re going to feed people who are hungry,” say: “We’re going to share a meal with neighbors. God will be with us at the table.” Or, instead of, “We’re helping kids who don’t have much,” try, “We’re going to play, laugh, and learn with new friends.”
Families often discover that they walk away with as much as they gave: a preschooler learns new words in Spanish from a new friend; an elementary child learns soccer tricks from refugee kids; a teen discovers shared music tastes with someone they served alongside.
When kids grow up seeing service not as charity but as part of community, they learn that they are not rescuers—they are neighbors. They discover that every person has dignity and something to offer. And they begin to understand that the kingdom of God is revealed most fully when we come together across differences, each giving and receiving, each learning from the other.
Practical Steps
Serving together sounds beautiful—and it is—but it can also be messy, unpredictable, and sometimes frustrating. That’s normal. When we go into service experiences with realistic expectations, flexibility, and a clear sense of each child’s capacity, we create space for joy and growth.
Set Realistic Expectations: Kids (and adults!) don’t always behave like model volunteers. Preschoolers lose focus, elementary kids get shy, teens roll their eyes. That’s okay. Remember to take the long view- you’re building something over time.
Embrace Flexibility: Sometimes you’ll end up doing a task you didn’t expect or the timing is changed last minute. Kids will take their cues from adults on how to respond to these changes.
Serving with Kids of Different Ages: It can be a challenge to serve as a family whose members have a variety of ages and interests. Think about each person’s strengths, interests, and abilities, but also be prepared that not each person will enjoy the service in the same way.
Preschool:
- Strengths: joy, openness, natural presence.
- How they can serve: smile at people, hand out items, help set a welcoming tone.
Elementary:
- Strengths: energy, curiosity, willingness to help.
- How they can serve: sort donations, play games with other children, make cards.
These kids thrive when they see the tangible outcome of their work.
Teens:
- Strengths: independence, empathy, leadership.
- How they can serve: physical tasks & details, engage in conversation, mentor younger kids.
Teens benefit from being treated as partners.
It is key to take time together to reflect on your experience. This can be quick! Reflection is what turns service into discipleship and what helps us all connect our experiences to God’s love at work in the world. Build short conversations into your rhythms—around the dinner table, in the car, or before bed. Try asking:
- Preschool: Who made you smile today? How did God make us smile together?
- Elementary: What gifts did you notice in the people we spent time with? What do you wonder about today?
- Teens: Where did you see Jesus in someone else today? How did this experience challenge or grow your understanding of God’s kingdom?
Creating a culture of service doesn’t happen overnight. Like any spiritual practice, it grows slowly, through rhythms, consistency, and openness to the Spirit. The goal is not to be the “perfect serving family,” but to live more deeply into God’s kingdom together. Be encouraged: start small, stay consistent, and keep your eyes open for God’s presence.
Here are some simple, realistic next steps.
Start Local
Look for ways to serve right where you are. God’s love is at work in your neighborhood, your school, and your church. You could do a weekly check-in on an elderly neighbor. Or pick up trash at your local park once each season. Is there a single parent you could babysit for every other month?
Choose a Rhythm
Try setting a rhythm that works for your family. Over time, these rhythms teach kids that service isn’t an “add-on” but part of following Jesus. A few ideas:
- Once a month: serve together at a community meal or shelter.
- Once a quarter: help with a neighborhood cleanup or gardening project.
- Weekly: pray for school friends and visit neighbors, reflect together where you see God at work
Partner with Trusted Organizations
Find a ministry or nonprofit that aligns with your family’s values and plug in. Explore some local nonprofits in your area and check to see what options they have for volunteering with kids and teens.
At Youthfront, we have a wide variety of volunteer needs where families to serve. Lend a hand with neighborhood projects at a Service Saturday, provide a meal or childcare for our Teen Parent Connect program, or help distribute groceries to neighbors in need at our monthly Something to EatTM food distribution. There are many other volunteer opportunities at Youthfront as well – see them all!
Creating a family culture of service isn’t about perfection. Some days will feel holy and beautiful. Others will feel chaotic—kids will whine, projects won’t go as planned, and you might wonder if it was worth it. But we commit to our family rhythms, with open hands and hearts, ready to see God’s love at work. Service is more than giving—it’s participating in the kingdom of God, where every person has something to offer, and where Jesus is already present, making all things new.
About Emily Rietema: Emily lives with her husband and three boys in Kansas City, Kansas. She is an experienced educator with a special interest in social justice. Emily is deeply committed to her neighborhood and engages in Christian community development practices to help build a strong and connected community. She enjoys running, baking, and tending the garden.
