By Matt Saunders
Minutes after she was born and as the nurses were performing their post-delivery tasks, I reached out to touch our newborn daughter’s hand with my finger. She wrapped her tiny hand around my finger, and I was struck by the sight of her slender, spidery fingers and the strength I felt in her grip. I whispered to her, “Look at those volleyball hands.”
Though my first love in sports was basketball, I had trouble making my high school’s team because the coaches said I couldn’t jump high enough. Basketball was quickly replaced by volleyball, a sport that didn’t require quite the amazing vertical jump. Throughout high school and college, I enjoyed playing at recreational and club levels. After college, I continued to play recreationally, and I even had the chance to be an assistant coach with a small college women’s team for a couple of seasons. Because of my love for the sport, I dreamt of having a daughter one day who would grow up to be a volleyball player.
Our daughter is a high school junior now. She made the varsity team for a second time this year. I think she’s pretty good, and if she wanted to, I think she could probably play at a NAIA college. Over the years, I’ve spent countless hours with her related to this sport. For the first four years, it was as her coach, teaching her the basics of the game. She eventually surpassed my coaching ability, and for the past four years, I became her biggest fan, taking her to practices and cheering her on at games. Some of my favorite memories are the road trips we’ve taken together for travel tournaments. My heart is full, seeing this dream of our daughter becoming a volleyball player come true. But there’s also a cloud of sadness I’m currently navigating.
This cloud… She just decided to resign from her school’s volleyball team. Like with many team sports, there’s been drama. She just doesn’t like the cattiness that she’s witnessed, especially these years coming out of COVID-19. My wife and I have tried to coach her to be resilient, but the drama is just too much and she doesn’t love the game anymore. Also, there’s a bright, shiny new sport that has captivated her heart over the past two years: track. Track, by its nature, focuses more on individual performance and coincidentally fosters more of a warm and positive atmosphere among the team as teammates cheer each other on to notch up new PRs. This “family” feel appeals strongly to our daughter who is kind, sensitive, and bent towards positivity.
So this is a bittersweet time, knowing that her volleyball days are behind her. The dream I had for her has come to an end, being replaced by something new. And I’m trying my best to embrace the newness, even though I’m going to miss watching her smash those massive kills and stuff with huge blocks. I’ve come to realize that I was one of the sources of pressure she felt to continue something that she increasingly found little joy in playing. This had to change. Our kids’ purpose in their lives is not to fulfill our dreams we have for them. We will naturally have dreams for our kids. But we must hold these dreams loosely, and focus rather on being present with them as they navigate the life lessons that sports and other activities inevitably teach them.
This past summer at Youthfront Camp, our theme was Seeking God’s Dream. Drawing from Jesus’ parables about the Kingdom of God, our campers learned about how God’s Dream is surprising, inclusive, and expanding. Like yeast mixed into dough, God’s Dream grows within each of us, even if we can’t always see it at work in the moment. As a Christ follower and as a dad to our daughter, my desire for her is to seek God’s Dream more than any dream I have for her. Regardless of the sport (the school, the career, the boyfriend, etc.) she chooses, the best thing I can give her is my presence and my encouragement to pursue God’s Dream, which invites her to follow Jesus and love others as Jesus loves them.
About Matt Saunders: Matt is Senior Director of Youthfront Camp and has been part of the Youthfront staff since 2012. He is passionate about curating spaces for youth to experience redemptive moments. Prior to joining Youthfront, Matt served as a youth worker for 15 years at churches in Idaho, Calgary (Alberta, Canada), and Kansas. He is a curriculum developer, speaker, and published game designer.
Matt received his Master of Liberal Arts degree from Baker University.
In addition to his work at Youthfront, Matt serves as a consultant to schools who wish to use game design as a pedagogy and is an advisor to the Center for Games and Learning at MidAmerica Nazarene University. With his free time, Matt loves to play board games, read fantasy or science fiction novels, and cheer for his kids in their activities.
Matt is married to Sheila and they have two young adult children, Kyron and Raylee.
