By Jamie Roach
Teenagers today are facing a crisis of meaning. Studies show rising levels of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness among young people, and much of it is linked to a deep sense of purposelessness. Without a clear direction, many teens feel lost—disconnected from a greater story, unsure of where they belong, and uncertain about what truly matters.
Jean Twenge’s research on Gen Z, as well as Jonathan Haidt’s work in The Anxious Generation, highlights that today’s teens spend more time than ever online but feel more disconnected than ever. The cultural emphasis on achievement, wealth, and personal success often leaves them feeling empty. They are searching for something deeper.
As parents, we have the opportunity to help our children step into a bigger story—one that transcends material success and fleeting happiness. Jesus taught that real life isn’t found in accumulating wealth or status but in aligning ourselves with God’s Kingdom, living with love, justice, and purpose. As theologian N.T. Wright says, “What you do in the present—by painting, preaching, singing, sewing, praying, teaching, building hospitals, feeding the hungry—will last into God’s future.”
So how do we help our teens discover real purpose? Here are four key ways.
1. Help Them Ask the Right Questions
One of the best ways to guide a teen toward purpose is by encouraging them to ask deep, reflective questions. Often, we assume that purpose is something they will stumble upon later in life, but it’s something we can help them discern right now.
Encourage your teen to reflect on these questions:
- What makes you really angry about the world? Often, our purpose is connected to what breaks our hearts or stirs a passion for justice.
- When do you feel most alive? Purpose isn’t just about duty—it’s about joy. What activities, experiences, or moments give them energy and excitement?
- What are you naturally good at? Sometimes, our gifts point toward our calling. Ask, “What do others say you do well? What comes easily to you?”
Parent Exercise: Consider having a family discussion where everyone shares answers to these questions. Look for patterns. Do certain themes arise?
2. Shift the Focus from Success to Significance
Many teens are taught that life is about getting good grades, getting into a good college, and getting a good job. While there’s nothing wrong with these things, they are thin, tepid and lack punch. A life centered solely around achievement or the acquisition of “toys” can feel shallow.
Instead of asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, consider asking, “What kind of impact do you want to have?” Purpose is about using one’s gifts to serve a cause greater than oneself. When teens see their lives as part of something bigger—whether it’s fighting injustice, helping the vulnerable, or creating beauty—they begin to feel a deeper sense of significance.
Parent Exercise: Take your teen to volunteer—at a shelter, a community garden, or a mission project. Afterward, discuss how it felt to be part of something bigger than themselves.
3. Encourage Them to Belong to a Bigger Story
Teens need to know that they were created for more than just existing. They were made for love, for justice, for creativity, for healing. They were made to be part of God’s unfolding story.
I still remember with great fondness watching my kids get excited about saving their money and raising additional funds from friends to buy a pair of glasses for someone they met in a homeless shelter. They did not think it was right that this person could not really see and so they set out to make it right. We talked a lot about “being agents of redemption” who were bringing God’s Kingdom into our neighborhood and city.
Help your teen find a need that aligns with their values and passions. Then put them on the front lines while you provide logistical support in the background. Another idea is to help them find a community of others such as a church youth group, an environmental activism team, a club at school or a local nonprofit, or being part of a mission-centered community where they can discover a sense of belonging and direction.
Parent Exercise: Explore different service opportunities together. Ask, “Where do you feel most at home? Where do you feel like you’re making a difference?”
4. Model Purpose in Your Own Life
Finally, one of the most powerful ways to help your teen find purpose is to live with purpose yourself. Teens pay more attention to what we do than what we say. If they see us living a life of meaning—prioritizing relationships over wealth, serving others, and aligning our choices with our faith—they will absorb that as their own model for a fulfilling life.
Ask yourself:
- What is my purpose?
- Am I showing my children that life is about more than just comfort and success?
- Do I live in a way that reflects God’s Kingdom—through my love, generosity, and commitment to justice?
When teens see adults who are passionate about something beyond themselves, they learn that life is more than just survival—it’s about stepping into a calling.
Parent Exercise: After you’ve reflected on these questions, make a point to share about your passions with your teen. If possible, invite them to be a part of something you’re passionate about.
The theologian Howard Thurman once said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
As Christian parents, our goal is not to pressure our kids into finding the “perfect” purpose, but to help them awaken to the reality that their lives have meaning. To help them know they were created for a reason. To remind them that God’s Kingdom is unfolding, and they have a place in it.
Let’s raise a generation that doesn’t just chase success but pursues significance—young people who are fully alive, fully engaged, and deeply rooted in a purpose that lasts.
About Jamie Roach: Jamie has served on the staff of Youthfront for 35 years, working with students, parents and youth workers. His passion is seeing people live their best life. Jamie is a spiritual director, author, communicator and Licensed Professional Counselor at Youthfront’s affiliate, Presence-Centered Counseling. He received his Master of Divinity degree from Nazarene Theological Seminary and a Master of Arts in Counseling from Mid-America Nazarene University. Jamie loves Nebraska football, reading, walks in the woods and hanging out with his family. Jamie and his wife Lea Ann have four adult children and four grandchildren.
