by Jamie Roach
One of the things I love about Jesus and seek to integrate into my own parenting is the way Jesus taught. It doesn’t look like Jesus relied on “formal education.” He doesn’t appear to have a classroom, a class schedule, or a syllabus. I don’t think he hosted a weekly Bible study to teach his followers a bunch of rules. Instead, he simply said, “Follow me” and off he went. His teaching took place on the go, as he went. It doesn’t look like he held a class on “Three Easy Steps to Love Your Neighbor.” No, he just loved the next person his path crossed; the blind man, the woman by the well, the leper, and the grieving mother, to name but a few. After modeling for his followers what neighborly love looked like, he would sit down and lead a discussion about what had just happened. He told lots of stories and asked lots of questions. With tremendous compassion, he gently explored the desires and intentions of the heart. He was interested in what people wanted, what they loved, and what they were afraid of. He used the birds of the sky, the flowers of the fields, the farmer and the fisherman, and whatever was happening at the moment to explore and reveal what living in God’s Kingdom looked like.
Perhaps you’ve noticed attempting to sit your children down for a 45-minute teaching lesson seldom goes well. Perhaps we could take a page from Jesus’ playbook by modeling love and presence with our families. Christmas morning or whenever you open presents can provide a great opportunity. Here is how it might look.
- Begin by preparing your own heart. Make room for Jesus and his love. Your kids, after all, are following your lead. After reminding yourself of who you are, God’s beloved, here are some things you can do.
- Start your day thanking God for the wonderful gifts he has given you. (Your family, warm house, presents, great food, health, etc.)
- Allow your gratitude to grow into feelings of joy and playfulness. Put on some fun music, smile, and laugh… “may your heart be light.”
- As you see each of your kids, let them know how thankful you are for them and how happy being with them makes you. It might sound something like, “Honey, I just noticed my heart is so full because I get to spend this morning with you. I really love being with you!”
- Encourage your kids to pause after opening each gift to express their thankfulness to the one who gave it. (*If expressing gratitude isn’t something you’ve already established as a practice in your family, be patient with yourself and your kids. Becoming upset because they aren’t doing it right is only going to defeat the purpose. So instead of fixating on their “poor” behavior, focus on yourself, seek to model gratitude, and stay calm.) In our family, we take turns opening one gift at a time. This slower approach provides the space and time to savor each gift and express the gratitude we are feeling in our hearts.
- After all the gifts have been opened, consider sharing a favorite snack and discussing together the gift-giving experience. Here are a few questions you could explore together.
- Which gift was your favorite? Why?
- What did you feel as you watched others opening the gifts you gave?
- What did you feel as you were opening the gifts given to you?
- What was your overall experience being together this morning opening gifts?
- What is it like to feel gratitude? Where does it broadcast from in your body?
- Did you enjoy giving or receiving gifts more?
Christmas is all about presence. The best gift you can give your kids is your presence; seeing and loving them just as they are. That is what God does for you. Immanuel, God with us. It was to be with you that God became the babe born in the manger.
About Jamie Roach: Jamie has served on the staff of Youthfront for 35 years, working with students, parents and youth workers. His passion is seeing people live their best life. Jamie is a spiritual director, author, communicator and Licensed Professional Counselor at Youthfront’s affiliate, Presence-Centered Counseling. He received his Master of Divinity degree from Nazarene Theological Seminary and a Master of Arts in Counseling from Mid-America Nazarene University. Jamie loves Nebraska football, reading, walks in the woods and hanging out with his family. Jamie and his wife Lea Ann have four children: Megan (31), Haley (28), Logan (25) and Sophie (22).
